Bit of a quandary

I agree with Jan

 

I agree, in the future someone might be looking for Mrs Morris, and it will explain she is shown on the stone as Mrs Jones

 

Do you know what happened to Mr Morris, buried, cremated?

 

Ménage a trios?

 

Them worms are probably happily digesting away already. You don't need to open the can.

Cue "On Ilkley Moor bah't 'at" ...

Jane

 

I agree with Jan too.

Sorry I’m late, I thought I’d pressed the reply button but.....

 

We have something similar in hubby's family... only the first Mrs. is still living, but is destined to be buried with her first husband..her 2nd husband is with his first wife. In our case, her maiden name is on the headstone..just no death date.

 

My grandmother was widowed twice but is buried with neither husband. She developed a dread of being buried alive and in her Will stipulated that she be cremated, after my mother had performed a series of "tests" to ensure she wasn't simply in a very deep sleep. Luckily she died in hospital so mom didn't have to carry them out.

 

After reading just your first post, I wasn't too sure about how much you should say. If Mrs Morris had chosen to be buried with her first husband Mr Jones rather than with Mr Morris, it might have suggested that they weren't altogether happy together, so any note you wrote might have needed to be rather tactful.

However, knowing now that Mr Morris had already been buried with his first wife puts a different spin on it. It would mean that you could write a fairly even-handed note saying that they were both buried with their first spouses.

That might be because Mr Morris and Mrs Jones/Morris weren't happy together, but I wonder if it could be that they were old friends, both widowed, who enjoyed each other's company, but decided to get married more as a matter of convenience and respectability - while both acknowledging that their first true love had been their former spouses.

 

I have some that went either way. In many cases, the wife's name is on the first husband's stone from when he is buried and her death date added later. I know my grandmother's second husband was buried next to his most-beloved second wife of three - all pre-arranged when he married Grandma. We do have two where the woman is buried next to first husband with second husband's surname. It can be a little confusing, if one doesn't have all the facts. Tactful notes are nice!

 

Of course sometimes it may be that a plot was pre-purchased and it costs to have a new grave dug. I don't think I'm particularly hard-hearted but I think we sometimes over-sentimentalise the past.

 

My Mother always had a dread of being buried alive, she gave me strict instructions on checking she was dead & also wanted a second opinion, of course I made sure her wishes were carried out. She was cremated & Dad said afterwards that he couldn't bear the thought of the worms eating her. He was cremated too, a year & one week after my Mother.

 

I am just the opposite, at my grandfather's funeral I told my mother that I don't want to be cremated, as I can't bear the idea of floating around as ash in the air (she did laugh at that comment), also fire is quite terrifying. I quite positively wish to be planted

 

I’ve chosen a different path and donated myself to medical science, so I hope no future researchers try to discover where I’m buried