AncestryDNA

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by Malcolm Webb, Jan 18, 2019.

  1. Malcolm Webb

    Malcolm Webb Well-Known Member

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    I presume I am not the only one here who has had their DNA done.

    Has anyone else had any surprises?

    I reluctantly had mine done 12 months ago -- my wife can be very persuasive. Apart from the usual 4th to 6th cousins, and 2 second cousins I already knew about, I had a lady pop up as my nearest DNA Match as "Close Family" just before Christmas. Looking at the amount of DNA we share, she is my half-sister!! I have lived for 70 years as an only child so you can imagine the shock. But not as much of a shock as my sister who has lived for 73 years believing her father to be the man named on her birth certificate. It didn't take much research to make the connection through my father during his WW2 service in the RAF -- his record puts him in the right place at the right time.

    The first match from that family came from a niece -- my sister's daughter -- and she persuaded her mother to have hers done. My niece and I are in constant touch but her mother is having a terrible time coming to terms with it all. My niece and I are hoping to meet early this year, irrespective of whether her mother is ready for it.

    Just thought I'd share.
     
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  2. Blackmogs

    Blackmogs Moderator. General Dogs(cats)body. Staff Member

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    Wow! There was a really interesting article on the BBC website just before Christmas talking about exactly this situation. It can be absolutely devastating for someone to find out they have been living as a child of one parent to find they are not related. Some families have been completely destroyed once the 'secret' was out. My heart goes out to this poor lady. I understand you are pleased Malcolm, but take it gently with her. I would never ever have mine done, I don't care who might be out there, I'm happy with who I already have. I think that makes me a bit strange but hey ho.
     
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  3. Bay Horse

    Bay Horse Can be a bit of a dark horse

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    Good heavens, Malcolm.

    There is potential for upset in my family. I am aware of it, no one else is - and I've put the details in a sealed envelope, because to future generations it won't come as such a shock. I've had my DNA done by a cousin but heard nothing more since I provided a sample. My DNA wouldn't disclose the secret, anyhow.

    It must have been devastating for your sister, though, Malcolm. It takes far more than blood ties to be a dad and nothing can take her relationship with her own 'father' away, but she must be very confused. I wonder if her father actually knew.
     
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  4. Half Hour

    Half Hour Well-Known Member

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    I wonder if your father knew about her? Guess you will never know. It is interesting..neither of my 2 for certain 2nd cousins that have had their's done came up as 2nd cousins ( one came up as a 3rd cousin, the other as a 4th, with her daughter sharing more DNA with me than she does!) I do find it very interesting. I have other DNA 2nd and 3rd cousins who I can't find a connection with so I am thinking a couple of my 13 gr. uncles or grandad from the Thompson side must have been "sowing their wild oats" around southern Ontario. :rolleyes:
    As @Blackmogs says..take it easy, sadly not all stories have a happy ending for everyone.
    However, unlike her, I am very happy I had mine done..... I am truly fascinated in it, but then I also love logic puzzles and this is something similar, isn't it? :D
    Best of luck and enjoy meeting your niece..I am very happy for you.
     
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  5. Half Hour

    Half Hour Well-Known Member

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    What a smart idea, @Bay Horse.
    I wonder if that would work with hubby's family as they have something similar and for years I haven't figured out how to approach the family members concerned. The only one I mentioned it to sadly passed away from cancer shortly after I "met" her online through our family trees and she didn't know who knew and who didn't. It won't show up in any DNA as this person also sadly died at a young age in the 1950's and I can't check his birth/death registrations as they won't be online for several years yet So far I have stayed quiet. !
     
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  6. Malcolm Webb

    Malcolm Webb Well-Known Member

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    I did see that programme.
    I think, on balance, I regret having my DNA done. I was OK as I was. I am treading very carefully with my new sister. I am not in direct contact with her as she does not do internet things, but I am in regular contact with my niece.
     
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  7. Malcolm Webb

    Malcolm Webb Well-Known Member

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    As you'd expect, I now have more questions that will never be answered. My dad died 35 years ago. Whether he knew or not I shall never know. He did tell me about his postings at 2 RAF bases in Scotland -- he was an aircraft technician and specialist-trained to work on the Spitfire's Merlin engines. He never indicated he had a 3rd posting for the last 15 months of his service which, as I said in my original posting, puts him in the right place at the right time.

    Many thanks for the replies.
     
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  8. Blackmogs

    Blackmogs Moderator. General Dogs(cats)body. Staff Member

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    ():-)():-)Bless you, this stuff is a lot like Pandora's Box. Gently does it m'dear, gently does it.
    I bet he never knew.
     
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  9. AnnB

    AnnB Editor in Chief who is Hot off the Press!

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    I entirely agree with Moggy, I have no intention of going down the DNA route. Malcolm’s story is incredible - what started as an innocent ‘sideline’ in the search for those elusive ancestors, turned into something so different.

    I bet he never knew either.
     
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  10. Ma-dotcom

    Ma-dotcom A Bonza Little Digger!

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    I was content with my lot too, having given up the idea that I was adopted at about the age of 'get a grip & stop day-dreaming' also realised- happily- I wasn't a lost princess stolen from her rich family.

    However having tasted the fruits of my searches into maternal family- all of whom I accept without any misgivings for any who may have been a bit on the shady side- if they were, I couldn't stop there as so many adventurous folk left their birthplace & started anew in so many places around the world.
    No I haven't found them all yet but am ever curious as to how those little chromosomes wend their way through family lines. Rather like redheads popping up in every 3rd or 4th generation.

    I'm also old enough that any forth coming 'shocks' won't bother me for too long, rather they would I believe be met with "well how about you then eh?".
    I don't think we can ever know, nor is it our business, what went on with whom so many years ago, as it was their lives to live as they best could rather as we do now.
    Darned if I want anyone telling me how to do it or whether I'm doing it right or not. I did it my way or as closely as I could with the gear I was given.

    My word-s that was a big blast wasn't it. First of the day, so energy at top level. :)
    Just been reminded I am going grocery shopping today so must get about doing just that. Good morning /evening all. ;
     
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  11. LianeH

    LianeH Well-Known Member

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    I must admit i dont think dna testing is a route i will go down, as above i am happy with the lot i already have and they give me enough grey hairs.

    My granddad was one of 22 but we could only find 15 legitimate children. Birth certs show my gt. Grandads name as father to other children by 3 different women:eek: so that is enough to keep me busy.

    Besides i am also worried what database my dna ends up on
     
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  12. Sis

    Sis Rootles out resources!

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    No DNA test for me either. I'm happy with my lot too. Though will confess to being a little bit curious as to the genetic side of things, but not enough to have a one done.
     
  13. Nightryder

    Nightryder Well-Known Member

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    I'm waiting for my DNA results after I received a test kit for Christmas, must admit I hesitated wondering if there will be any surprises
     
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  14. Sis

    Sis Rootles out resources!

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    Knowing my Dad I probably would get surprises.:rolleyes:
     
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  15. Nightryder

    Nightryder Well-Known Member

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    Sis, I would not expect any surprises from my Dad but then again I was stunned when his service records told me he went awol twice, on one occasion for 5 days, but he was only 20 & it was a very uncertain time, there's a family story about him & some of his mates being sent into a mine field to rescue an injured Australian army officer but ive never been able to find any proof of this, but it makes sense if they were "volunteered" after being awol.
     
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  16. MollyMay

    MollyMay Knows where to find the answers!

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    Me too:nailbiting: - I have no issue with it being used for research (7 years ago it was found I have HCM, which my children have a 1 in 2 chance of inheriting), so if it aids potential 'cures' then fine.
    I met a 3rd cousin, during research, years ago - and we are now joking that what will we do if we do not show up as a match:eek:!:D
     
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  17. Malcolm Webb

    Malcolm Webb Well-Known Member

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    Although I now regret going down the DNA route, I am coming to terms with what I have found out. As they say around these parts -- "Whoda thowt it".

    When I started my family history research 35 years ago I set myself a "Mission Statement" -- that I would research and record my family history as fully and accurately as I could and would follow the evidence wherever it went.

    It has given me the material for a talk I did to my Rotary Club last Monday entitled "Numbers 32:23"; the title was published a week in advance on our weekly Table Digest, and only one person got near to solving the cryptic clue.

    I began the talk with the words "Today's lesson is taken from the Fourth Book of Moses called Numbers, Chapter 32 Verse 23 -- 'Beware your sin will find you out'". It seemed to captivate the audience. Unusually for a Monday lunchtime talk, no-one fell asleep.

    Many thanks for your replies and comforting words.
     
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  18. Bay Horse

    Bay Horse Can be a bit of a dark horse

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    Nothing like a whiff of scandal to make people sit up. :D

    It's important to remember that our ancestors, members of our family, were human. They lived through tough times, experienced dreadful sights during wartime and also unbearable loneliness.

    I know that my great grandfather had at least eight illegitimate children. My family believed there were just the two children and that he was a respectable sort of chap. And then a nineth came out of the woodwork, that I expect none of the other half-siblings knew existed. That gentleman died before I could meet him, and I would've liked to - I believe he made contact with my family many years ago and was told in no uncertain terms to leave. :(
     
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  19. patten-walsh

    patten-walsh Well-Known Member

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    Nice item here from The Register (an I.T news site)

    www.
    theregister.co.uk/2019/01/18/dna_twins_gene_tests/
     
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  20. Ma-dotcom

    Ma-dotcom A Bonza Little Digger!

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    Having seen the negligible differences in the results for the twins who after all must have received different levels of goodies from both parents- just as every other sibling does, the results are not all that news worthy. Funny how items are grabbed at for sensationalising.
     
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