Contact

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by ColinA, Dec 7, 2019.

  1. ColinA

    ColinA Well-Known Member

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    May I ask those of you with grown up children who have moved away from home, how often do you hear from them? Given that I am over 60 and my mother (91) has expected a phone call (in either direction) at least once a week [and often twice] since I was at university, am I alone in thinking that a total lack of texts, emails, etc. for over a month is unreasonable?

    Is this just typical of the generation she is in (said child is 30). If I email it is often a week before I hear anything.

    Or am I just a miserable git? :(
     
  2. Daft Bat

    Daft Bat Administrator. Chief cook & bottle washer! Staff Member

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    My father (92) and I (over 60 ;) ) email or 'phone each other every month or two - so rather the opposite....:rolleyes:
     
  3. Archie's Mum

    Archie's Mum Always digging up clues

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    No way Colin are you are miserable git!
    I too have the same problem. Not with my son, mind you but my daughter. Her children live very busy lives with sport and other interests so Mum is forever driving them here and there and she works 4 days a week.
    Her generation have no idea how to slow down.
    I think they just get carried away with their over busy lives, parents are at the end of a long list of work colleagues, friends, kids and all kinds of other distractions.
    We live 2 hours away from our daughter and about 6 from our son. So time with them is limited. It’s usually me who makes the phone calls.
    Don’t get disheartened. I think they come good eventually. :)
     
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  4. Archie's Mum

    Archie's Mum Always digging up clues

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    Also, I avoid texting unless I’m sending a photo of what’s interesting in OUR lives at the time etc. if you ring rather than text, they have no choice.
     
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  5. ColinA

    ColinA Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for both those Sue: I must get rid of my brick and get a 'proper' mobile which can send pictures.
     
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  6. GrannyBarb

    GrannyBarb Custodian of the Family Accounts

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    Are the kids on social media? We sometimes get a more timely response posting to their social account - which is ridiculous, but it is what it is. :sceptical:
     
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  7. Sis

    Sis Rootles out resources!

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    My son is 32 and used to be the same. But is much better now. I think it's a generation thing. :rolleyes:
     
  8. Ma-dotcom

    Ma-dotcom A Bonza Little Digger!

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    Yep, they do. May be too busy to pick up or didn't hear/ feel it. HAve heard that many times from others
    I don't phone for just that reason. However sooner or later they need something even if only advice or a recipe. Than sometimes health reasons of family bring on a call or email.

    Our son set up a family f.b. group on which it is easy to keep contact as an email alerts to new messages.
     
  9. Ma-dotcom

    Ma-dotcom A Bonza Little Digger!

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    I finally succumbed to a 'phone which doesn't hang on the wall of any other land locked site. Have used it maybe 5 times, took two photos -yuk- maybe me or phone settings. Not bothered. Like cameras the darn thing must be recharged so often.
    My personal recharger is out of whack also probably an age thing. ;)
     
  10. Archie's Mum

    Archie's Mum Always digging up clues

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    We aren’t on any social media and never ever likely to be so my main gripe is that every relative who is friends with my children on fb is more up to date with their comings, goings and successes than us. Case in point....my grandson is a very talented runner. He competed in the zone athletic carnival and is now 200 metre champion of the Western Ranges. It appeared on face book before we were even thought of. It happens all the time and we have been told on numerous occasions to join fb so we can keep up. We shouldn’t have to and to prove a point, we aren’t. I would think grandparents more important than Great Aunt Sticky Beak.
     
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  11. GrannyBarb

    GrannyBarb Custodian of the Family Accounts

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    I agree, Sue. We shouldn't have to. I haven't, myself. Hubby got an account "back when" to keep up with his brother and play Farmville - which turned into a time and money sink, so he quit that, but kept most of his "farm friends." Back to the point: I only look at it to see photos and current events on that side of the family. My side of the family uses texts and emails. Voice calls are reserved for special occasions and emergencies, as we are a notoriously long-winded bunch.

    On Colin's original question: we go through spurts of heavy contact, but mostly only every couple of months or so.
     
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  12. LianeH

    LianeH Well-Known Member

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    I have to say having no children makes this easy to answer on that point but I am a good daughter as I speak to my mum religiously once a week and when we live a bit closer again I can see her more often. After all you only have one mum and she is now 81 so got to look after her.

    We have an elderly relative on Alans side whose son and grandson we are friends with on fb so we do know all their news before she does which I think is a real shame. I feel you should share things with immediate family first then put it on fb if thats your thing.
     
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  13. Bay Horse

    Bay Horse Can be a bit of a dark horse

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    I speak to my mum daily. My daughter has just had her 31st birthday so the same age as Colin's - when busy (and she has a long daily commute) we might receive messages every other day. Now of course she's on maternity leave so my phone is always buzzing. We use Whatsapp. Rarely do we ring - only if urgent.

    I suppose if I was to rely on calls rather than messaging I wouldn't hear from her very often. Such is the pace of life for these young things. (Just realised that @GrannyBarb has said much the same).
     
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  14. ColinA

    ColinA Well-Known Member

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    I'll try not to feel rejected. Diffcult after a divorce.
     
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  15. TonyV

    TonyV He who cleans up after his ancestors...

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    My wife always says that sons are worse than daughters at calling ( I include all forms of social media). As we have two of the former and none of the latter I'm not sure how well-founded that remark is but ultimately I'm sure that it comes down to two things - the warmth of your relationships, starting from when they were at home - and their adult needs (money, baby-sitting etc.).

    Even in a home where love is doled out evenly, or so we believe, our children develop different characters and once they leave home and do all the things that we did as young adults, their characters and their needs will dictate how much they want to keep in contact. I wasn't the best at contacting my parents and I think that you have to be fairly thick-skinned about it all. I certainly don't buy the line that we have children to look after us in our old age and we always claim to be proud of how independent our kids have become.

    Both our sons keep in touch; one lives close and needs "baby-sitting" services. The other who doesn't live close has just helped to produce our first and much-loved granddaughter so he knows how a WhatsApp picture every few days ensures that we are able to watch her growing up and maybe have a degree of parity with their other grandparents who live close to them.
     
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  16. Ma-dotcom

    Ma-dotcom A Bonza Little Digger!

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    {-(^^)-}
     
  17. Ma-dotcom

    Ma-dotcom A Bonza Little Digger!

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    So similar to Tony but reverse with who calls first, work is a religion or just darn necessity which takes up their time as do their children, not a problem with me. Lucky enough to have a son at home who is an immense help here & not just hanging out the wash or pushing the shopping trolley.

    I began on f.b. to feep intouch with our kids during floods & fire in other states & it's an ongoing thing with nieces & nephews & there kinder. It can be a pain in the neckj if you let it & remember not to be too liking or you a flooded with people wanting you to like their 'Page' which in turn floods you with their own stuff. All jolly fun, & the genealogy groups on f.b. make it all worth while.

    oops off to thicken the chutney. ;)
     
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